#but that doesn't mean you didnt make me feel shitty either way

[skrimply]

whatever idk!!!! im not gonna let myself feel pathetic trying to keep this up when you don't seem to care to do the same! im not gonna let myself look stupid responding right away and trying to hold conversation when you probably dont think of me at all!!! i won't let myself think about you all day and wish for something that i guess isn't gonna happen! you're so pretty and you know it and you have to know how you make people feel about you and you know you're cool and attractive and you Know people are gonna get attached to you you must!!!!! you must know that i would! and you told me you liked me you told me you wanted to see me again you said all those lovely things to me that you must have known would stick with me! and im stupid im so stupid for probably just being another one to you!!! stupid for wanting to be something special or to mean something to you!! you must make everyone feel so special for a few days! and im not! you cant even think to text me and i let myself look ridiculous for you!!! you held my hand and kissed me and said you liked it and you missed it and i dont believe you!!!!!!!

[saguette]

What do you think Johnny's art looked like before he was stripped of his powers? This is something that bugs me a lot, and I'm curious about what you think.

ok i needed to draw a few shitty pictures to demonstrate cuz i wanted to talk about more than just his previous art but his art journey in general IDC if there's some canon tweet that proves something i said wrong or out of timeline these are my headcanons and projections so you either like it or not.. anyways I think his style pre-pre-JTHM (lets say 15-18) depicted many things, He was good at realism and fluctuated just fine between stylized art and big hefty works with a lot of detail. His stylized works looking similar to Jhonens and the whole 2000's artstyle cuz its fitting.

Of course he's like, a late teenager around this time so its GOOD but not perfect. If you pulled up a few of his drawings from this time he would probably be embarrassed by all the disproportionate limbs and goth girls he sketched and thought were badass. He probably has old sketches of friends in his style regardless if they asked to be drawn or not since his art was something he was proud of and people around him made him feel proud of. His old art also feels like it'd have anime elements unintentionally to add to that amateur artist swag. Johnny doesn't like anime copies but stuff he rips inspo from was anime inspired so it rubbed off on his work too. Moving onto PRE-JTHM (18-20) Is when his art started to get more serious and complex. In his happy era he took to drawing lovecraftian horror sometimes but it was always the secondary focus of any drawing.

Moving out and growing up was around the time his mental state started to worsen and he started using art to cope with emotions rather than just use it for fun, drawing complex monsters was a subconscious way to depict underlying mental illness that's out of his hands. He cant depict what he doesn't know he has, he can only scribble things that feel someone close to him because there is no physical appearance to emotions. He never liked his art around this time because it always felt unfinished or wrong or like it just didn't interpret what he wanted right. Overtime his art lost coherent appearance, quality, and meaning which made it feel worthless. It wouldn't be all that bad but it reached a point not even he knew what it was trying to be and it was frustrating. How can your own art not make sense to you? Its weird to let your hands go and do their own and you not recognize what they're trying to say. Which leads to SHORTLY BEFORE JTHM-and later.. Johnnys NEW preferred method for art currently is a little abstract, it became two extremes of the same thing; nothing. his art lost alot of what it used to be so he says he cant draw anymore.

Johnnys lovecraftian horror art slowly engulfed itself over time and always becomes an abstract mess. Its purposely made to be incomprehensible by having too much, regardless if its creation is poetic, an outside view not being able to tell what it is or how much work went into it is on purpose. its metaphorical or whatever.. Johnnys fucked up or something.. Whereas Noodleboy i imagine was made by him drawing a stickfigure one day to see if he can still "draw" and overtime gave him his features like angry eyes and that big hair, creating his own sort of vent sona to replace the sketchy abstract art he used before. Noodleboys chaoticness is too sporadic to rip any meaning off of, he also purposely represents nothing. His existence uses up paper the same way, just without all the extra effort. SORRRYYYY long tangent thats probably super messy i just winged it. but i cant help myself ive thought about this for a while ik i didnt strictly answer the question but i had so much more to say

[brofightiscancelled]

they fight so much but despite everything you are name counterparts and childhood best friends. despite everything you are sukodomatsu and at your core you are just two shitty little boys who are brothers and best friends

i like suuji and timber more within the ontological pairs? However I do get it. and theyre the ones that probably represent osomatsu-san best as a thesis. choro and oso are probably the ones that drifted the most apart by growing up. they were the closest as kids and the brattiest most childish of the kids. i feel like a lot of people note that being 1 and 3, they werent bonded by birth order obligations they were literally just best friends!! they were just best friends.

but as adults they fundamentally want different things and it causes them to butt heads literally all the time. oso is the one who wants everything to stay the same the most and choro is the one that wants everything to change the most.

even if choro isnt that much better than the rest of them he still genuinely wants to be at least somewhat independent… even if choro isnt that much better he Wants to be and that's what makes it sad…. the path that takes him away from his best friend is the path he Wants Desperately

(smoke inhalation) and u feel like choro unconsciously doesnt want to be separated from oso either.. he's always berating oso like be better! be a better brother be a better human, so that me getting better doesnt mean i have to leave you behind. "he's the oldest and he should act like it and if he acts like it maybe the rift between us doesn't have to grow so big"

choro constantly bitching that oso is trying to hold him back, oso is constantly trying to bring choro down to his level… but it's because oso wants his bestie back. He wants things to remain the same but he still yearns for back when they were 10 and the little shits of the town…. osomatsu and choromatsu getting up to no good……. stop being so proper, so far away from my world. come be the worst with me again

it's like… to me it's like

suujimatsu was probably a mother-assigned pair but they're inseparable. know everything about each other, affectionate. theyre on the same wavelength they are da worl. jyushi knows when to push past ichi's limits. ichi can understand jyushi like maybe 70% of the time

timbermatsu, beloved spare children that don't really click but were the only ones leftover lol. i feel like they like each other but they dont know anything about each other. between kara's facades/exclusivematsu and todo's tottiness they are strangers to each other, not in the nenchu way but in the constant "i didnt know that about you" "i didnt tell you" way

sukodomatsu chose each other as besties which is why they know everything about each other, derogatory. they get each other. derogatory. they know exactly what makes each other tick, they see the parts of themselves in each other they hate, that's why they can hurt each other so deeply (smoke inhalation)

[hiroshotreplica]

im sorry you probably dont want this in your askbox but i dont really think it makes sense to talk about madness and leafi the same way for a lot of reasons. Idk maybe im just seeing a transgirl getting relentlessly dogpiled because of old screenshots and having an over-empathetic response but fuck man she was 13 when those screenshots were taken. Shes not even 18 right now shes crazy young for her level of play (like literally should be community banned for lying about being 13 for multiple years during splatoon 2 to get around discord community guidelines but thats a tangent). She said in her apology she was trying to fit in with a real shitty group of people she doesn't associate with anymore and fuck man im probably giving herself way too much grace cause i seeing a terrifying exaggeration of something i went through on a public scale but like people are editing HER face onto memes and talking shit about HER and constantly misgendering her when madness is not only an actual adult but has been ACTUALLY DOING THIS SHIT RECENTLY. im not saying the shit she was saying wasnt heinous but fuck man this isnt gonna help her and i dont want the dumass bullshit she said when she was a middle schooler to ruin the rest of her life. sorry for the white girl mental illness blast but there is important context in this ranty anxiety and projection goop

anon asked for a tldr for the situation w/ jackpot as a whole, which included leafi's part in the situation. as the post was about how jackpot as a team has made racist statements. i chose screenshots that put my point clearly, which just so happened to be screenshots with madness and leafi. i'll go more into it here, though

i did not mean to compare her to madness when including screenshots of her old statements. i was compiling the most blatant screenshots from the thread i had originally linked in a prior post. i was going to include other things, but didnt have the time to compile them and was beginning to get stressed about being the source of this info on tumblr.

i was also going to include this video of her saying racist statements in 2024, but i didnt want to include a twitter link for an anon that couldnt access twitter. im realizing i shouldve done so

i do feel bad for her getting involved with a group of people THAT bad if she was truly that ignorant when she was younger, but thats where my sympathy ends. she still acted racist and still associated with clearly racist people even when she was older and more mature. ive learned since making that post that she was born in 2007. 16 is still an age where you should be mature enough to understand that those comments are racist, even with america's shitty public education system glossing over racism.

i definitely see why this can look like people dogpiling on a trans woman though, and the people doing memes and editing her into them in general about this situation are disgusting. i had no idea she was trans and that people were misgendering her. anyone making this situation about her being trans are awful and not people i stand by.

but all of that, including her being skilled despite her age, still doesnt forgive or erase her actions. nothing like that does for the other members of jackpot that have also stated racist things. nothing like that does for any other comp splatoon player that has said anything similar. the apology she put out was needed, but from what ive heard from others, it wasnt the best. she is writing another apology, though, so it couldve just been rushed.

no one has to accept her apology, either. as a white person myself, im not one that should even be one to accept her apology. it wasnt an apology for me, and it isnt one for you, either (if you are white as you say but i might be misreading). people should not be painted in a negative light for not accepting her apology even if it were an amazing one.

the way some people are reacting to this situation is not okay, but she still did awful things that she should be held accountable for. the other guilty members of jackpot are not better than her, but theyve all still said fucked up things. none of them have done anything to prove they arent racist, and theres only more evidence coming out that proves that they have been, so its hard to process at the moment.

could things change? yes, of course, but as of right now, leafi has stated racist things as recent as 2024 and put out a poor apology trying to defend herself. people are handling it poorly and trying to make it about her identity and making memes on it when it is not the right thing to do. these racist claims are being put w/ other racist claims made by other jackpot team members so it was included in my tldr post about the entire situation.

i apologize for poor wording in this, im not the best w/ these kinds of posts

[maxinethevampirequeen]

LIS DE left me feeling weird? SPOILERS!!!

so i just finished the new life is strange game and wooo its defo the weakest in the series there will be spoilers in this so idk read if you wanna i just need to get this off my chest somewhere (also sorry in advance if stuff does not make sense this is just for me lol)

so the game opened really well i think the first 2 chapters that i got to play like 2 weeks ago because of the early access did get me hooked and i was really interested in who killed safi but that almost instantly lost its spark around the end of chapter 3 i think

safi being revealed to have powers is cool i think but i dont like how it kinda completely drops the murder plot for this weird revenge story for a character i hardly know thats been dead way before the game starts???

like cool i guess i care about safi so i want to help thats fine but how we never really get and answer for why max shot safi the first time idk if i missed it or whatever and how the detective guy was just kinda use as a fake threat to set up max to be scared of touching the other version of herself which instantly dosent matter because they fall and grab each other??? like why did he even have to die then also the fact that your choice to save him or let go does nothing he dies either way

and dont even get me started on how chloe is just teased through out the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME and then just fucking used as sequel bait!!!!! i really really like some parts of the game but i also really really dislike a lot of the parts

its not that i dont think the game is worth playing i think its okay but like ughhh it feels like the game was writen by a person who didnt play any other life is strange games and does not know anything about any of the characters

if this game was just a shitty sequel to life is strange 1 where we do gay shit with chloe i will admit i would have gobbled that shit up no matter how shitty the writing as long as the characters feel like the characters they were in the first game

i know max is older but god she does not seem like max at all its like we are playing a shell of max and the only thing that ties her to the old max is the very rare reminders of chloe and then they have the AUDACITY to have chloe text you at the end of the game!!!

like they know how much these characters mean to people and it just feels so fucking weird to not have the interact at all! they even have this thing half way through the game where max almost calls chloe! its like they were writing the game and were like

"this shit sucks lets dangle hope of a chloe interaction so they keep playing" because i think it really falls apart around the end i was really just waiting for it to end around half way through chapter 5

i really think the game is pretty and like a step up from the older games (obv its like 10 years newer lol) i really dont wanna sound like just a hater because i did enjoy most of my time with the game and as much as i wish it had been someone else and not max

i'm glad she's back because she is my favorite lis character! sorry for all the ramble i just needed to get this all off my chest i did like most of the game and i'm still interested in seeing where the story goes since "max will return" or whatever it said at the end

i wouldnt say i'm excited for the next game but i'm still interested but i think thats just coming from the fact that i will gobble up anything called life is strange also don't nod's newest game looks cool i'm excited for that too anyways peace out and sorry for the ramble!

also i wanna add i did not care for safi at all in the game i dont know why but she was the only character the game couldn't make me care about

This is all a thread i did on twitter where i just wrote what i felt without really thinking so if it doesn't make sense that's why lol

[waywardstarfishkid]

Outragiously long and stupid rant incoming!

I like never make posts on here but I wanted to scream into the void about heartbreak high. Since s1 I've seen like really strange takes and half the time I'm like is it because people don't know how Australian school is different or is it a lack of critical thinking.

Like in s1 I only saw people either hating or loving spider and don't get me wrong either of those is valid but the way people were explaining it was strange to me.

For me I didn't like spider but not because he was some unrepeatable arsehole I actually think he was a great representation of a lot of Australian guys I knew growing up. Like he says dumb shit but then when things are serious he does the right thing like he helped malakai with the cop (then said fucking stupid things after) and he helped amerie at the festival, he wanted to help harper and let her in even though it would mean he and American would have to stop hooking up.

In comparison I swore people liking dusty who in my eyes was way worse than spider. He acted all woke like he said the right things and then did shitty things like shaming harper and deciding to frame jojo.

Like theyrr both shit but I would trust spider with my drink over but maybe not dusty.

Then ant I understand if you like ant and spider together but I think people maybe don't understand how touchy guys are with each other in Australia. Like gay straight bi whatever guy friends hang off each other and I think it's actually healthy to show that. I also saw someone complaining about spider and ant doing gay shit but only as a joke but I never saw that like I don't think any of it was a joke it just wasn't gay. Like spider calling him pet names them cuddling and stuff is just affection which is actually great especially for men who often don't know how to have affection that's not sexual.

Also can we agree that ant just doesn't care about the gender he's hooking up with like I don't think he's bi I think he's just into who he's into (is that pansexual? Sorry).

I was a bit disappointed with all the bisexual characters ending up in straight relationships but that's mostly because I really wanted an ant malakai and I liked Rowan Malaysia before it went to shit. But at the same time I dont like how people critiquing it often feels like Bi erasure. Like I'm a bi woman whos first gay relationship ended because my gf (lesbian) cheated on me with a lesbian because she constantly thought I was cheating on her with my guy friends and for a long time I just dated guys because I didnt know many bi women and lesbian girls kept being horrified that I would go near a dick (not all of them my ex was very understanding and actually encouraged me to embrace my sexualising when I was just a baby bi) but my point is I totally understand how having a straight relationship when bi can actually be more understanding (at least in mine and my friends experiences) and it's totally valid even though the relationship is straight.

Also people angry about not as much quinni (I agree more quinni she and cash are my loves) I'm actually happy they took a back-seat with her on the relationship front like her and Sasha were a big deal/quinnis first relationship and I think it wouldve really messed quinni up with how it ended. I also love that they're not just centring her storyline around being the gay girl you know like she I a multifaceted queen.

Also for the Sasha redemption, I get why people are calling for it but unlike spider and dusty like Sasha didn't really do anything wrong (except for how she treated quinni but they talked at the end of s1 and seem to be moving to a place of good friendahip) shes mostly just annoying and pretentious like the other idiots actually fuvked up. I don't really want a Sasha redemption I just want to see more of her character make her a bit less of a two dimensional hipster, which I honestly think they only didn't fo because they had a lot of characters to juggled Sasha had to take a back-seat so Missy could shine (and I love Missy so I'll allow it also her and malakais friendship means everything to me the indigenous representation that shows not just the aspects of country and family but also shows them as fully formed characters I LOVE)

Sorry for the obscenely long rant this is just all my thoughts from s1 and s2 so ignore it by all means and also if you disagree that's fine and you are probably right lol.

[pinkanonwrites]

ohmigod does streamer au mean that Knives is like. Vash's twin that visits his apartment to ensure Vash is okay (as a disabled person myself who lives alone, i get weekly visits from my mom and brother lmao) and comes in with groceries, leaves with trash, comes over to drive Vash to his doctor appointments, and tells Vash to get a real job??

does the chat see Knives as like. a cryptid. and the chat spams with acknowledgement as Knives moves about in the background and Vash goes "Chat says hi! ...Knives?! Did you hear mE?! CHAT SAYS HI!!" and he shouts back "I heard you both times, but I'm not acknowledging your no-life-having enablers!" or some shit

Knives feels like he has a trenchcoat and briefcase and has some high-up position like, idk, i feel like hed be an enviromental lawyer but also a corporate lawyer yet he also feels like he could be a radio/podcast celebrity with Bad Takes (i might just be describing Andrew Tate or somebody whoops) and a reputation for being shitty to his fans. like i could Knives being either objective scum with a cult following. or being like a eco-friendly protestor who put a politician's house on fire but hasnt been caught bc he wore one of those face-masks that distorts pictures and made sure not to leave any finger-prints. maybe he's something in-between, like he supports PETA, i dunno. or maybe he and Vash are actually estranged

im really curious how you would characterize Knives in this au, theres definitely a lot to go with considering the vast differences in his 1998, 2023, and manga variations (im partial to 2023 myself, but manga is a close second and 1998 is in the dust for me personally) since his genocide nonsense doesn't have a 1-for-1 translation in a modern world. the only act of Knives that i can think of that would track is 2023!Knives blaming himself for Vash's amputation (as opposed to other variations, if i remember right, where Knives did it to punish Vash, i liked that they went with a "Knives did it bc he loves Vash and didnt see another way to save his brother" direction instead) bc maybe the amputation happened in an accident that Knives blames himself for Vash being a victim in. but yeah, so many variations

also Rem. but Rem is a bit easier because there's always the "Well, Rem is still dead" option mixed with "She was our foster mom" (oh, maybe Knives works in the Social Services) whereas Knives, again, has all these variations

(anyways, i have a Part 2 to this that's not related to me asking questions about your streamer au, but rather me just saying a hc i have for Vash+Knives Modern AU that is very biased to my own personal history and therefore is irrelevant to your streamer au, so do hold up briefly, i do wanna ramble about that bc rambling about Trigun Modern AUs is fun)

I think I can tell you guys some about the ideas I had in mind without spoiling too much!

So I've bounced it around a bit in my head, and I think I've come up with something that works for this AU in particular. Rem was in fact their foster mom, she adopted them both as babies. While Nai was a pretty normal kid growing up, a bit cynical and intelligent for his age but nothing concerning, Vash was the type of kid who got sick really often. Like, immunodeficient, multiple hospitalizations sick. I was thinking something like CVID, which makes it so you're way more susceptible to getting respiratory and lung infections. He was a happy kid, but in and out of the hospital a lot.

In late middle school he had a really bad reaction, and while rushing him to the hospital Rem got in a car accident that cost her her life and Vash his left arm. Vash feels like he's the whole reason the accident even happened in the first place, while Nai blames himself for Vash being even worse off because maybe if he'd just been able to keep calm Rem wouldn't have been so distracted. There's also a fair bit of survivor's guilt in him, being the only one who got out of the wreck generally unscathed.

So he's kind of taken himself up as his brother's keeper, balancing his own post-graduate work life with checking in on Vash, bringing him to appointments, and just generally making sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He's a conservation biology major and a huge ecology nut, who often says (in a deadpan tone that Vash thinks is a joke) that the planet would probably be better off if all the humans on itwere wiped out.

Nai has complicated feelings about Vash's streamer lifestyle. On one hand he's not as deeply, deeply depressed as he was in early high school, most days it being a chore for Nai to even get him to eat or drink. On the other hand, he thinks that a job like this isn't stable enough for Vash, that he could be doing more with his fantastic intelligence, and that Vash cares way too much about what random strangers on the internet think about him. It's the sparking point for many arguments, because as much as they love and care about each other, they just don't see the world from each other's viewpoints.

(He'd also never say it, but Nai is actually very grateful that Vash has Nicholas as a roommate. As much as he despises the guy, at least there's someone around to make sure Vash is eating real food and actually going outside when Nai isn't there to check on him.)

[iocainesmoothie]

veilguard was incredible, 11/10

I really don't have any interest in nit-picking or criticizing what was missing or done poorly, there was always going to be too much they COULD have crammed in and inevitably so much that didn't make it because at the end of the day it has to be a finished marketable product and must be made with finite resources.

there are always going to be cuts and places that feel lacking, there are always going to be holes, but its important to be appreciative of where they DID decide to spend their resources and I think their team did a fantastic job.

the hair, omg the hair.

the DA2 atmosphere, the ME2 story structure and emphasis on companions, the lore of DAI, like they could not have made a game more tailored to my tastes.

I'm so so so grateful to everyone at bioware who made it happen and that games like this still get made, truly no one does it like they do. BG3 was great but i don't consider them a substitute for the feeling i get from Bioware games. I finished veilguard like 2 days ago and I'm still kinda wondering around in an emotional fog.

I really thought I was going to be disappointed by the romances because nothing was going to compare to the impact and shock reveal and story relevance of solavellan, but omg emmrich!?!

he's so romantic, he's such a lover, he WANTS love so bad, he's so flustered about the age gap! his character arc is ACTUALLY INTERESTING and thematic! there are actually different routes for his romance to go and theyre both HUGELY different AND good!!! AND ALSO relevant to his themes as a character!!! in either route you basically have to chose which one of you is going to (eventually) die first and leave the other one mourning and its like UGH HES SO!!!! UGH ITS SO GOOD!! YOU GET IN A LOVERS SPAT BEFORE A BIG STORY MOMENT!!! THATS WORKING SYNCHRONOUSLY WITH THE GAME PLOT TO ENHANCE THE OVER ALL STORY!! ITS SO GOOOD!!!!

also its SUCH a relief to have an option that wasnt like SUPER young, the age gap is hot as fuck and its part of his story and UGH ITS SO GOOD!!

i also just love the mourn watch as a whole, I feel like some of dragon age magic system gets explained a little too concretely (it feels like everything is either because elves or because spirits or both) and the necropolis vibes are sort of like, no we haven't solved all that there is to be solved about magic and the fade, there are mysteries and cool stuff and wiggle room in the universe for other new stuff to be introduced, like lichs and vampires and supernatural beings that arent just different flavours of spirits.

I do feel bad for the lucanis girlies though. giving players HALF as much romance content as everyone else, and then saying its because of personality reasons? for a character whos personality you wrote yourself? seems mean spirited.

like you didnt have to do that, it was actively making the player experience worse for arguably nothing, if you wanted to convey that lucanis doesn't feel free to want things for himself there were other ways to portray that than an ABSENCE of content. you have a finite word count to bring these characters to life. Wasting it like that for arguably nothing except to make players feel disappointment doesn't seem defensible to me?

not even going into the neve thing. everyone on twitter is doing the usual "boohoo you just hate neve because you hate women" thing.

I LOVE neve, i think that "fantasy-noir" vibe she and varric have is absolute PEAK, I also didnt even romance lucanis, and i think they're perfectly sweet together and i love when companions have lives outside the main character!

but i do think its double shitty to write a character who fully ignores your romance lines (like not even shrugs them off or has an awkward or negative reaction just FULLY does not react as if the game isn't registering the option you chose) but then have them actively pursuing someone else?

what happened to those personality reasons?

lucanis has never had a relationship before but suddenly he's juggling 2 people?

during his quest (his stupid lazy dream sequence quest that has to happen in the middle of another conversation while the two of you stand there awkwardly for some reason) even if you've chosen every heart option he'll still imply in his dream sequence that hes attracted to neve.

YOU get cut off from the romance route if you choose to support minrathous but he's fine with neve?

I'm just saying, if i were writing one of 6 romance routes in the last dragon age game maybe ever made, I would have been more generous. The way it treats the player is almost adversarial?

I know, i know, the opposite side of the spectrum is being TOO fawning about the player till it almost reaches the point of paternalistic condescension, like when every single character adores the mc and never questions or doubts or disagrees with them. that also sucks! that is also a bad writing choice!

i LOVED rook and solas's relationship. I am a hardcore solavellan solas simp and my sole goal was for them to get their happy ever after, solas is my favorite character across all media EVER.

that said, i loved making rook shit talk him, and swear at him and hate him, and i was DELIGHTED every time solas betrayed them, even at the very end when he, the god of lies, swears on everything he holds sacred that he PROMISES he wont try to bring the veil down again after elgernan is dead and you just KNOW hes trying to give you one more stab in the back for the road, i LOVED it. i was DELIGHTED to be trapped in that prison, it was the strongest part of the game and I cried pretty much nonstop from that point to the finale. i dont NEED every character to get along and play nice and love me unquestioningly. i LOVE carver!!! i LOVE the rivalry system!!!

again i havent even played lucanis's route and i probably never will because i'm insane about emmrich (who btw i can romance every play through and pick a different version and get a different but equally devastatingly romantic route AHEM)

also im only criticizing his writing here, at the bottom of a huge rambling text post behind a read more on a dead website at 5:30 am, because mary kirby did get laid off and didn't receive the severance she was owed and regardless of how i feel about her latest work she absolutely deserves the money and new stable employment and picking on the way she wrote her character doesn't seem like the right thing to do anywhere there is even a slim chance someone might see it.

anyway, i just think maybe they were trying to play with structure to convey something and i disagree with the results, but what do i know. I'm protesting more about that because the mechanics of writing game romances, more so than the romance itself, is my obsessive special interest and I'm always thinking of how I would do it, and to see someone get the chance to do it in the big leagues and fumble (according to my tastes) chafes me a little.

that said, iv seen a lot of people who were perfectly happy with what they got from Lucanis so maybe im totally wrong lmao.

Im also just now thinking of all the stuff we'll never get a definitive answer to if this really is the last game, or all the choices that we imported over fifteen years that ended up meaning nothing.

like if only elgernan and ghilly were left, does that mean what the wardens were doing WAS actually killing the gods? and once theyre all dead the veil would come down because it no longer had their life force fuelling it and the mega blight would come out? and THATS why solas was so freaked out by clarel?

what the fuck was the point of playing hot potato with urthemiel's old god soul over the entire franchise? what about the well of sorrows?!! what the fuck is actually going on in kalsharok? theyre just like ALL semi-tainted semi-wardens? WAS andraste a mage? a vessel for mythal? WAS SOLAS SHARTAN????!?! what was yavanna trying to rebuild the dragon population for? WHAT RECKONING WAS MYTHAL PLANNING?!?! what the fuck is the gathering storm? why did the pre-qunari race decide to drink dragon blood to become qunari to get away from them? LIZARD MEN ILLUMINATI FROM THE MOON? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!

i mean i know obviously the answer is "resource budget and time", and again im just so incredibly grateful the game got made at all, i guess im just left with the same feeling every other dragon age game gave me which is that i desperately want more.

[nonclassyparty]

Ive been a silent reader of yours all this time but I have to speak up on this. I'm sorry but I just can't agree with this "San has done bad things but that's okay because so did others" that's like saying this murderer is horrible for killing innocent people but it's not really THAT bad(?) because there are others who committed murder too I don't know if I'm explaining it right because English is not my first language lol. Regardless if others have done bad things, it doesn't justify San's shitty deeds. One's bad deeds should never be downgraded/downplayed just because there are others who do bad things too so I find it pointless to bring up others like y/n seonghwa wooyoung etc when we're talking about San and the things he's done or why people think he's irredeemable. Also maybe because I've dealt with someone irl like starring role San and that's why his character is just irredeemable to me. Like I don't care how bad he feels after for doing what he did, the impact of his actions is still 10x more hurtful than whatever remorse or guilt he felt and the fact that he KEEPS doing it despite being self aware makes it even more worse than it already is actually. I wish we can have a conversation about people's terrible deeds without bringing up others to either make justifications or comparisons.

Like if a person killed somebody then feels guilty about it but then does it again. It just doesn't make sense to me (I know San is not a killer lol but I'm trying to make an analogy and this the best my non English speaking ass can come up with)

For me San is an asshole point blank period and if we're being for real, a person like him who grew up with that mindset can't change in as little as two years. Before anybody come here and say i'm team mingi and thats why I'm saying this, actually I'm team nobody. I'm just here to read this very entertaining and we'll written au 🥰

ouuuuuuu i love this, had to get a drink before i started typing. and don't worry your english is fine everything is great, i get what you're saying. soooo let's talk;

first of all, i need all of us to be on the same page here so let me ask you guys (all of you that actively participate in these little quiz nights 😭), what is it that san did wrong exactly? and i don't mean "he did this wrong so he doesnt deserve to be with yn" we're not talking about that and frankly don't care about, its what did he do wrong that makes him a bad irredeemable character? i'm genuinely curious about this.

while writing this story, i can think of two instances where he actually fucked up but still not to the point where its not redeemable.

you say bad deeds of the other characters shouldn't be brought up when talking about san's? and i disagree! you know why? it's not bc i'm trying to downplay his wrongdoings ( or trying to justify them, if it ever seemed like that then i probably didnt word myself right) or bc it's "Oh san my poor meow meow he can't be the bad guy!!!!!" but because all of the characters that i've compared him to are halfway ( if not the whole way) already forgiven by the readers and why is that? what makes them more redeemable than him and where is the line drawn when it comes to forgiveness? again we are not talking about relationship-with-y/n forgiven but "he's not the villain" forgiven bc apart from y/n's mother i don't think there are any other villains 😭

(and this is not defending san, he is an asshole i'll be the first one to say it bc i literally created him😭 but that's simply not all that there is to him bc as people we are not one dimensional. no one is all good and all bad, there's no such thing unless we're talking about idk psychopaths or something lol and just bc we haven't seen san's good towards y/n doesn't mean there's no good at all. i've already written all his parts for the next chapter so this is just a formal notice that i won't be trying to make him more appealing so he can get sympathy points or something and i can say that he won't be asking for forgiveness either but he will be in a huge chunk of the chapter and for all of you that plan on just blocking out everything he says well...u wont be having a good time😭)

[ventblockeddiary]

My life was already over before I was even born. And now I'm forced to live in a purgatory for however many depressing years I have left (r/offmychest)

Meant to post this on r/offmychest but ironically my post kept getting marked as spam and removed. Anyway.

This is probably going to be a really long post, and I dont really expect anyone to read it all the way through or anything, I think i just need to get this off my chest because i've been feeling this heavy crap for years but i dont think even once that i've sit down and ever wrote it out. and i think i want to, even if it wont help. and if i get dramatic with this im very sorry, it might be cringe lol but i tend to be very dramatic so just ignore that if you read it

I always knew I didn't belong to my immediate surroundings. I was never like my family, or even my bestest, closest friends. Everyone was so different to me. For context, even though I hate saying it out loud/admitting it to the world, I was unlucky enough to be born into an asian household (and not the better, superior asians, either. Im sure you understand what I mean.) and to make it worse, I was born under an abusive, narcissist man of "religion". (cult.)

I love God but He doesn't love me back. I don't blame Him either, I'm repulsive and evil and disobedient. I don't deserve His love or His grace when I am every single thing He hates. Maybe thats why Im being punished. Maybe He knew I was always going to turn out like this, so ever since I was born I've been subjected to nothing but horror and grief and nothing else. nothing else.

I wish i could articulate everything inside me better. this is so fragmented, i know, but i dont even know where to start. I was born on the other side of the world, but I always identified more with the "West"...i know that sounds insane and fucking stupid. But i swear to god, my brain was wired like someone who would grow up *anywhere* but where i was??? my cultural traditions and religious obligations never made sense to me. they were always restrictive. MORE than they should have been. I was always more disturbed by them than my friends, i never managed to connect with anyone because our differences were so vast. While i was thinking of living life free and adventurous, EVERY other person around me, older and younger, were content with the life plans our culture set out for us (married by or around 20, enough kids to be a large family by 28, sitting at home or doing a 'respectable' job)

When i told my best friends, at 11, that i wanted to run away with them and live like roomies in Japan (i was a weeb. embarrasing) they were more grounded in reality and said "well, when we grow up and get married then we can leave our homes for vacations every now and then". but that disgusted me. i didnt want to get married, i didnt want to get old and THEN live my life. I didnt want to go from being one mans property to another mans property. but everyone thought (and still thinks) im insane and "feminist" and a stupid child. i admit that i was delusional...i mean my other friends were more tethered to reality at 11 to know running away from home at our age would be horrible. Why the hell was i so fucking stupicd

When i was younger, romance made me cringe. I was vehemently against shitty romcoms and boring love movies...but i was secretly yearning for it. I didnt realize it then. i realize it now. I made big shows of disgust at anything remotely romantic or lovey dovey, but i think i was craving it more than i let on.

so, the man i was born under, he's extremely....well. sexist and misogynistic and he looks weirdly at VERY young girls. he wouldnt mind ruining someone elses daughter, and he projected that on us i guess. because let me tell you this. I have never left the house alone. I have never been without "supervision". I have never gone to a gender mixed school, he always found the shittiest organizations with girls-only schools and made every. single. fucking. decision for me. I didnt even get the OPPURTUNITY to rebel. To make my own decisions. I wasnt allowed to go out. I wasnt allowed to dress in anything but the crap he and my mom picked. Covered head to toe. I felt disgusted with myself. My mom was disgusted by my rapidly develping body. I think i developed so fast because im disgusting and i was a perverted kid, so i made myself grow way too fucking early. I dont even know why I was so fucking perverted. I think its genetic, because you CAN inherit stuff like that, and since the man i was born under was a disgusting perverted SOB, I got his ugly, defected genes. And i didnt know all this about him until i was 20 i think, because before that we all thought he was super religious and super anti-women, but then we found out he was cheating on my mom with multiple young girls, too many to count. And he told her youre old and disgusting now when hes MUCH older than her. He said 14 year old girls are better. my mom almost went insane with disgust and shame. i had to hold her back from wrekcing her own head.

I dont even know what the hell Im saying anymore. I dont know how to articulate this.

I am 22 now. turning 23 this year. Every birthday is fucking depressing because i realize he stole my teenage years from me, and now hes stealing the last few years of youth i have left. and then what? i'll be married off, wont i? to some ugly man who may or may not be a closeted freak like all of them turn out to be. my mom screams at me, "this is the only way you can get your freedom"

because shes been injected with the same religion's cult-ish ideas. My family is stifling me. The idea that i will never make it out of their clutches makes me want to just. i cant do this anymore.

i wanted to fucking go to uni abroad. after my high school i wasted TWO fucking years tryng to pray and manifest going abroad, escaping this hell hole, gaining some fucking FREEDOM. but i was a fucking fool and i wasted two fucking years in which i got incredibly depressed and my mother always brings up how i wasted two entire fucking years before they forced me to go to the all-girls university i did NOT WANT TO GO TO. They ruined my fucking life by sending me there. This univeristy is more like a fucking school, i cant explain it to you, in fact theyre more strict on girls than they were on us back in fucking SCHOOL. but im almost done. i wasted 3.5 years here. ha.

now my younger brother finished his high school, and everyones talking about sending him to the uk or something :) because hes a boy. my mom is so supportive of it. she would never support me going on my own. i listen to them sit around and talking and it makes me want to.

dont get me wrong. im happy for him. and he worked really hard to get scholarships. I was a r who could barely fucntion so i failed my entire way through high school. he got straight As. he worked for it. he deserves it. But ofc the man we were born under doesnt want him to go. hes the only one. He said to my mom "None of them are ever going to escape my control. Just you see."

He likes seeing us being held back. Makes sense why he runed all our potential and put us in cages.

Theres a lot more.

Theres so much more, about my body, about my limited, closed-off 'friendships', about my own faults, about this damn passport that i want to burn. But i cant put it here. I dont know how to articulate it.

I hate myself so much. Its not just his fault, its my fault too.

Sometimes I think about the multiverse, and I hope to god its real. Because that means that somewhere out there, I exist, and Im happy. maybe in that world, I'm beautiful, and doing youtube like i wanted to. Maybe Im a great poet and literary writer like I've always wanted to be. Maybe Im in theatre. Maybe I know how to do ballet. Maybe I live open and free and maybe i dont hate myself and maybe i dont want to kill myself every waking hour. Maybe i got lucky enough to be born elsewhere, to have a different stamp on my passport, to not be born into a cult. maybe i get to dress how i want and adhere to my own rules and aesthetic and im not always feeling inferior and watching other poeple live my dreams

i dont want to watch my youth slip away anymore

and my situation is so specific, nobody fucking gets it. i see these lucky people on social media, all around me, even in my personal life. and nobody gets it. if i tell someone all they feel is pity. and i dont want pity.

nobody has any advice for me. because i cant fucking get out of here.

someone i begged to to get me anti depressants so i could at least kill my emotiosn told me "i cant get you those, because theyre meant to be taken for a situation that slowly improves. Your situation isnt changing for the foreseeable future. Realisitically. So you'll just get addicted and i'll have to keep upping the dosage until i cant."

i wasnt born sad. my mom keeps saying "you were such a happy baby". yeah, i laughed, even though he was beating on me and i was constantly aware something was wrong with me because of my perversion. i dont think ive been happy ever since i got an iota of conscience.

i wish i wasnt scared of the afterlife. i wish God hadnt outlawed seeing myselg out of all this.

[grimsbygrovedrama]

Ok While I am not denying how septic and toxic of a person I was It doesn't really Make up for the person I am now, While I Understand the Caution and the overall Negativity Surrounding me I also really don't try to do those things anymore But It's also Like, Yeah I said dumb shit, yeah I did dumb shit I was a Socially Stunted child who didn't know when to shut up And While I realize My actions as a Misguided Idiotic Mentally unstable 13-14 year old and even sometime in my early 15's were septic, I grew out of that stuff and mellowed out I really don't do things anymore, Frankly my memory no longer suits me about all I've done but still, It was a Different time I get the whole I was a stupid idiot who Trauma Dumped, And Frankly Complained a lot, And overshared but then again its like I'm not Justifying what I did or who I was but I was never Stable enough to come into the community at the point I did, I cannot reverse time or my actions, do I wish to..? Obviously, Do I feel like I need to?, No It's my bed I sleep in, I know how bad I was which made me drive to be a better person and frankly I don't want to hold anyone down at this time, In such Case I do I will tell them I don't think its best to continue the friendship or Aquantainceship due to my Actions and the things I caused unintentionally or not, I don't think bringing up my groomer or how I felt about said individual should have taken such a Gutteral and deep hold of me for so long but I'd also prefer if they weren't brought up for the Obvious Personal reasons and as of now I see how bringing them up only reminds me of how stupid I was to not only get close, but let them Enable the behaviour in me, They didnt Enable all of it I have to say like a Good chunk of the Nsfw Shit was me at the time cause I was Stupid As all hell and I needed to be properly prepped for internet community spaces and I was just vile Was I combatitive..? Yes, I often times felt like an Outlier cause of my own personal life Will I share any now on this post, No, I do not wish to exemplify how I was in the Mind during those times and how my personal life came to make that, I simply want to Exist knowing what person I was in the past and letting It go, Does not mean I'm forgetting Or justifying the said Behaviour Was I hateful..? Yeah, A Moody edgy early teenager with their own issues and poor emotion control was not a clear mix, Like I burned a lot of bridges being a bitch and with some of my actions.

Im gonna state this now, I wish I would have entered everything at this time, I feel like If i had learned the crucial life and social lessons I know now I wouldn't have been such a shitty person who made so many people uncomfortable, Through out my breaks from this community I realised being so engrained with in it and its history its drama and its people regularly was not healthy which is why I took Long breaks with such big gaps and I was able to Asses myself in a Positive and healthy way without feeling like I'd be forced to make a change To make a long ass post Short I apologize Whether you accept it is up to you I Just with at this time to Co-exist and if you don't wanna interact with me due to my past or these posts I don't mind like, I can't change your mind or make you feel like you should Feel sympathy for me I just thought I should Say something on the matter since it pertained to me And P.s. Frankly I don't have the energy to do very crazy shit, haven't for a long while so my only thing to do or say about this situation is this post Like again, I really don't care whether or not Y'all talk to me it's up to you, like If your uncomfortable say that and I'll reel back because It's Your choice and right to either converse with me or not regardless of my past, If I am held to my past by other people so be it lwk I am not really gonna be mad or sad or upset cause it's just how people feel about my actions in the past and not everything Is pretty But that's my Final thoughts

.

[just-your-average-tangerine]

u said u understand inetellectually that ur not capable of being loved, but "intellectually" all that theorizing and shit is based on underlying assumptions.

''im not capable of being loved'' is an underlying assumption the primate that runs most of ur brain made. its not math or biology or shit really. the distinction between emotion and the frameworks we make is less blurry than people like to think.

You're not dealing with facts about yourself, you're dealing with your own feelings and being in a shitty situation. Give yourself time. Show yourself and that brain primate some love. Apollo you deserve it, and you will see love from the people around you also.

I meant intellectually more in the sense that I acknowledge it but don't know what to do with that information. I guess theoretically would have been a better word?

But to your point, it's not based on math or biology no, but it is based on experimentation. Coming up on 26 years of it. With me as a constant and variables of other people, and outside circumstances (life circumstances, how we met, what we 'bonded over', etc). And time and time again, people are only interested in me as far as I am useful to them. As a young kid I was useful as a dress up doll because I was raised by a butch lesbian single mother so I didnt know anything about makeup or hair so the girls could do whatever they wanted to me and I didn't know any better. As soon as I didn't like what they were doing or wanted to try something for myself, they didn't want me around anymore. Later in school, people were friends with me because I let them copy off me in class or did their homework for them, as soon as I stopped, I had no friends again. As an adult its been that I drive people around or buy them lunch or little gifts, or they just wanted another trans person around and as soon I wasn't the only other option I wasn't needed anymore. Even if you don't count the time before I started school, which is a perfectly reasonable portion of my life to exclude, even though my family doesn't care about me either, that's still over 20 years worth of the same results over and over again. I mean, I'm an actor, not a scientist but I think any experiment that shows that kind of consistency over that period of time is pretty clear.

I also know it's true due to observation. I know a lot of trans men, of all ages, and of all of them, only one has had a successful relationship, and that's with a woman. I'm gay so that's not really relevant to me. Of all the gay men I know, and I know a lot of gay men, none of them are interested in trans men (unless it's as a hookup they'll never tell anyone about).

I know that due to deductive reasoning. Communication is vital to any kind of relationship. I'm autistic. I can't do communication.

And honestly it doesn't really matter if, hypothetically, I am able to be loved. I currently have to navigate the world completely on my own, and that's not possible long term. I have no support system, and no one willing to help me. I lose my housing this summer, and I have nowhere to go. And because I don't have anyone, I have no way of fixing that. There is no holding out for better times without people to help you get there.

[aitaeviction]

So I'm the person that sent this ask in. It's been a little bit so I'm not sure if anyone is still interested but there were quite a few info requests so I thought I'd go back and answer them.

First of all yeah I'm pretty sure I'm the AH here. There's trauma there that caused that massive emotional reaction, but I should have dealt with that myself or at the least talked to Jake first instead of jumping the gun and bringing someone else into it. That was a mistake on my part and I should have done better about managing my reactions to my emotions.

As far as the info requests go I saw pretty much just two main questions

-what other "slimy" shit has Alex done?

He negs his gf. I'm not using that term lightly or in the pop culture/twitter sense. I mean that he makes constant cutting remarks that seem designed to wreck her self esteem. Stuff about her looks, her relationship to her parents, about how she'd never be able to make it on her own. Like a LOT of derogatory stuff about how she'd never be able to make it on her own, which is what is most red flaggy about it to me. He's also told stories involving personal medical details she asked him not to share. Just not great stuff. Honestly that's the biggest one for me.

He borrowed a significant amount of money from a mutual friend and now refuses to pay it back/keeps blowing him off. The guy had to postpone his wedding and buying a house bc of that.

Another mutual friend is in a long term, serious relationship and is pregnant. He told a pretty nasty "joke" implying that the baby wasn't their bfs in front of/to them while they were dissociating, panicking and nonverbal. He did not apologize to them until faced with the threat of getting kicked out and then made a non apology just saying he was sorry if they got their feelings hurt.

He called me a bitch, shit talked about me to other people, and made up a bunch of things I never said. He did this bc we as a group were doing that thing where you assign people animals they're most like and I said he was a Chihuahua. At the time I didnt have a problem with him and I genuinely didn't mean to insult him.

There's more in that vein, but those instances are pretty indicative of the kind of stuff he does.

-did Alex kick him out specifically because of this incident?

Actually no. I didn't include this in the ask bc it was already pretty long but when I spoke with Tom I did emphasize that I'd seen something that freaked me out but I wasn't directly involved and it could be anywhere from extremely concerning to absolutely nothing. I told him he needed to talk to Jake and make sure Jake was okay and get his side of the story/what actually happened. Tom spoke with Jake, Jake told him he was fine, and that was pretty much that.

I did speak with Tom again after I sent in the ask to make sure he wasn't just kicking Alex out bc of me and he told me he wasn't. He said he was mostly kicking him out bc he hasn't been paying rent and he doesn't clean up after himself. Plus all the other stuff I talked about. My talking to him just made him realize how many times he's had to deal with Alex either directly crossing a clear line and doing something shitty or coming right up to the line in a way that's still not great.

He's also giving him 3 months to find another place and not requiring him to pay rent during those 3 months even tho he could easily evict him on the spot given that he hasn't been paying rent.

TLDR; I did overreact, Alex is still getting kicked out, but it's not directly bc of me.

AITA for Getting Someone Evicted?

So I recently became friends with a group of people. There's a larger friend group, and a smaller sort of subset friend group that all lives in the same kind of communal house. I'm becoming friends with all of them, but I've become FWBs with the guy who owns the house, so just by the nature of having frequent sex with him I'm much closer to him.

The people involved are my partner, and two other men who live in his house. I'll call the partner Tom, and the two other guys Jake and Alex.

I'm friends with Jake, and Jake is friends with Alex, but honestly I absolute despise Alex. He's one of the most irritating AHs I've ever met. So I don't know if this is biasing me.

What happened:

I was sitting down drawing a few feet from them. Alex was sitting down taking Jakes measurements. This required Jake to kneel with his back to Alex. As guys do, they were making half a million sexual jokes about the situation. Then something happened that I think crossed a massive line.

Jake: (obviously playful/joking) "oooh choke me daddy!"

Alex then put both hands wrapped around the sides of Jakes neck and applied pressure. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to feel. (I am telling the story with info I later learned from Jake)

Jake (firmly): "hey don't actually do that, that's a massive trigger for me".

Alex then removed his hands from physically touching Jakes neck, but kept them hovering a few inches from his neck.

Alex (laughing): "good trigger or bad trigger?"

Jake: "bad trigger. Don't do that"

They then went back to fucking around and taking measurements. Jake says Alex apologized later but I didn't hear it so I don't know what was actually said.

I at first kind of brushed it off, since Jake handled it and seemed fine, but the day after it kinda hit that oh shit, I watched someone just grab someone else's neck as a "joke", this is real fuckin bad. So I told Tom I needed to talk to him about something, laid it all out, told him he needed to talk to Jake and make sure he was okay, and told him I no longer saw Alex as a safe person to be around. I would have liked to go to Jake first, but just bc of schedules I have recently not been able to see/talk to him at all, and that didn't seem like a text convo.

I think this was the log that broke the camels back, and Tom is now kicking Alex out. He'll have a couple months at least, but he's got terrible credit and rental history, and with the housing market where I live, I'm not sure what he's going to do/where he's going to go. Tom was also one of the people convincing everyone else to not just cut Alex off (he's done some slimy shit before this) so it's likely he may lose a decent chunk of his friend group.

Ultimately it was Toms call, but I'm questioning whether I was right to go directly to him about an issue that didn't involve me, and say i did not feel safe around Alex with so little evidence. It almost feels like I'm throwing my weight around as Toms partner, since he obviously wants me to keep coming around (and fucking him)

AITA?

[beaversatemygrandma]

WHERE THE FUCK DID FEBRUARY GO? WASN'T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLE MONTH HERE? Shit's coming up fast, oh god.

So, i have an appointment for my driver's test in March, and essentially through this entire month i was like "finish the log. finish it. write things in. do it." I got to 37 hours of 60. Oi. And then the fact that i literally CANNOT drive at night in this area. Between the light pollution of the city, those HUGE LED billboards that light up half the highway, and those new cars with retina burning headlights, I've literally struggled to keep my eyes adjusted to the night and nearly missed a fucking stoplight. I need 10 night hours. I have done 1 and realized it was pointless. I think i can back home though. Smaller town. Less light pollution. I mean, i know I've actually driven the right amount by now, but i haven't been writing that shit down. Even my dad was like "you're ready, just fuck the log" and i was like "okay, cool" I need to grab another page (WHY DOES IT HAVE SO FEW SPACES FOR 60 HOURS???) and draw out the things and fill it in and then get my grandma and my dad's IDs and fill in ALL THE ID NUMBERS, get them to sign EVERY Single ONE. Hnngg. Then reminding my dad to take that day off to take me there. Like i've told him, but this is the man i definitely got my adhd from. Likely forgot by now. It's been like 3 months since i made the appointment (earliest one too. tf.)

And then the whole anxiety of all the plans I've made. Like, after getting my license i was going to prepare myself to move back to FL to be with my mom and around all my friends and such.

Like. I'm basically long distance dating this guy by now. We literally have plans set, just without date. Because I could either be there in April or i could be there mid summer or later, which is infuriating. Ntm the fact that my money is VERY Quickly dwindling. Like, it'll cost a couple hundred just in gas to get there. I'm already down to less than my car insurance payment that will go through in June. I was hoping I could get down there, get that job, etc etc, THEN pay it off. Because here, I'd be working in a place for like a month and then ditching. That's not ideal. So, I'm hoping my dad will help me pay for things in that aspect because holy fuck. I also really need to change my bank because after it got bought out, the new company was like "K. If you have less than $500 average in your checking you pay $8 a month for use." Like WHAT THE FUCK?? And THEN that fucking FYE VIP Charge that I DID NOT sign up for taking another $12 a month. I literally went through their customer service, they couldn't find my info, yet I'm Being Charged for something i DIDNT SIGN UP FOR. And well, a bank/card change would get rid of BOTH shitty little predatory charges here.

I've literally been going between those online banking services checking to see what's the best, because this bank charges me, cut my interest on my savings down like 95%, and is just inconvenient all together. Like, my dad has one, if i sign up with his code we both get $50, THEN the long distance guy has another where you get $100 if you get the banking thing AND a credit card with them for both parties. And I'm just here like "Oh god. Choices."

And then this guy. So, yeah, it has escalated a bit. He's the sweetest damn thing but every night it just somehow turns into, "I can't wait for us to finally be together" and me just thinking like "fuck if this doesn't work out right...." Like it has turned from me saying "why tf am i feeling things for that weird guy from high school? Bet I'm just lonely" to being like "Yep. I've definitely fallen for him." He's sweet, he's passionate, he's safe, and he's just great. He definitely cares a lot. There's something about the way he's outright trying to make sure I'm in a good place mentally and getting what i need to done and just being encouraging and a great company. Like yeah, half the motivation for getting things done lately is just making sure i can make it down there to stop this from being long distance. There's somebody down there who genuinely wants to be that person to just exist at home with and go on adventures about town with. Just somebody to have around for literally anything. Like. I CAME OUT TO HIM. He didn't even dodge the topic like my last ex did. It wasn't this awkward thing, it was just "as long as this makes you happy" and just jeez <3

then the worry about being with my mom again because FL rent is a waking nightmare. Like yeah, I'm going to get shit about my weight a lot and still have to pay HER rent, but i mean, it's better than being in this hellscape that is a metropolis and nearby people i like and trust. and not the constant hostility between people out here. I've come to the conclusion that people in cities are just awful and so stuck in their lives of nothing but work and the hell that is this place with no escape which has made them into what they are now. At no fault of their own, but they're all selfish assholes. Like everybody is struggling and packed in like sardines. Of course we're all on edge. But FUCK, be NICE to others for the love of god. We're all in the same cement hell.

I want peace, and peace is a place i know well. I want to be back home already and not panicking about all this shit and slowly going broke due to predatory capitalism. I want to be with that guy. I want to have my friends just ten minutes away. I want to be back in this familiar town i know like the back of my hand instead of this cement labyrinth of highways and skyscrapers. I'll settle for my old Panera job for a while. I just want something familiar that isn't this. I want peace again and a place that's loud and hostile isn't peace.

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[f4eism]

I was curious if you’d be up for writing a little something something for Robin with a friend so keeping it platonic (not a must)

Steve accidentally outs Robin infront of her friend the reader. Reader is very upset, not about the gay part they couldn’t care less. Upset that Robin told Steve her secret but didn’t trust her best friend to know.

If you’re up for it of course if not feel free to skip

Please and thank you so so much

ofc im up for it! ty for requesting lovely <3

robin buckley x platonic!gn!reader

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

it was just one of those nights where you just needed the company of your two bestfriends, terrified to be alone.

hanging out with steve and robin at steve's house was always exciting, the three of you either watching shitty movies or dancing around to music on steve's record player.

currently, you three were in the living room just talking. you sat on the right of steve while he was in the middle, robin on the left laid out with her legs over you and steve's lap.

you grabbed robin's foot and held it up to your nose making a stank face. "cornchips! damn steve did you open a bag of fritos or what?" steve erupted into a fit of laughter and you laughed too while robin snatched her foot out of your grip, rolling her eyes while snickering along as well.

"fuck you y/n, you play too much! you know my feet smell like roses and strawberries!" you and steve were laughing so hard now the both of you had tears in the corner of your eyes and steve was halfway on the floor. you grabbed him and pulled him back up, your laughs calming down.

"mm whatever robin you know i was just playing anyways." you gave her a small smile making sure everything was cool while she gave you one in return, steve leaned back on the couch with one arm wrapped your shoulder and the other around robin's ankle, softly massaging it.

situating yourself so you could look at robin and steve, a question popped into your mind. "sooo guys, do you two currently have your eyes on anyone? im curious!" steve shook his head yes, "actually i do, and im not telling you who just yet. you'll have to wait and see." steve wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned.

"fine dingus have it your way. what about you robin? what hot guy caught the attention of the oh so beautiful robin buckley?"

steve laughed a little at that, before answering for robin "well nobody because she likes gir- i mean ummm" robin got up from her position on the couch and hit steve on the shoulder, earning an "ow!" from him and a shocked expression on your face.

"dont listen to this idiot, y/n. he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about." robin gave steve the stink eye and steve cowered in fear, looking apologetic.

you could care less about steve right now, you were more focused on the fact that robin didn't tell you that she was attracted to women. wasn't she supposed to be your bestfriend?

"robin, is it true that you like girls?" you looked at robin with what you hoped was understanding and acceptance, with a little bit of hurt.

"yes, i like girls y/n. i didnt want to tell you because i thought you would hate me! i was scared shitless and i am SO sorry i didn't tell you sooner." robin had tears on her cheeks now and you couldn't help but to reach over steve's lap and wipe them off of her face. moving back into your spot, steve hugged robin and you wrapped your arms around the both of them.

"robin i could never ever hate you! i don't care what your sexuality is. im just upset that you didn't bother to tell me. please just trust me more!! i would have been just as accepting as this idiot here was." you smiled as steve and robin laughed at your statement, hugging the both of them tighter.

steve spoke up, "so are we all good now? i hate when we're mad at each other. and im sorry robin, i spoke without thinking. i hope you can forgive me." robin flicked steve on his forehead and you laughed hard, still in the group hug position.

"of course i forgive you dingus! its okay. im just happy that the both of you were so accepting." you smiled at this, moving away from steve as you got up to go make some pizza.

"okay that's settled. now who wants pizza?" robin had a dopey grin on her face and followed you into the kitchen.

"i do!"